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Ghosts of My Past

by Ben Raftus

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1.
Comin Home 03:08
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MY WHOLE WORLD’S BEEN SO BLUE SINCE YOU LEFT SO LONG AGO THE WAY THAT I WILL MISS YOU IT’S ALL MY FAULT YOU’LL NEVER KNOW I CAN STILL SMELL YOU ON MY PILLOW YOUR HEAD HASN’T RESTED THERE FOR SO LONG RATHER BE BLIND THAN SEE YOU GO AND DUMB SO I CAN’T SAY THAT YOU’RE GONE I TRULY LOVED YOU WOMAN NOW I GOT SO MUCH TO FORGET CAUSE I KNOW YOU AIN’T COMIN HOME BABY IF YOU AIN’T BEEN HOME YET THINK ABOUT MY HANDS ON YOUR BODY YOUR SKIN SOFT AND WHITE AS MILK HAIR FLOWING DOWN TO YOUR SHOULDERS SOFTER THAN SATIN OR SILK YOU HAD A LOT TO OFFER IT WAS SO MUCH FOR ME TO WASTE YOU LAID IT ALL ACROSS THE TABLE AND I GAVE EVERYTHING A TASTE I TRULY LOVED YOU WOMAN NOW I GOT SO MUCH TO FORGET CAUSE I KNOW YOU AIN’T COMIN HOME, BABY IF YOU AIN’T BEEN HOME YET YOU WRAPPED ME IN YOUR LIES TOLD ME SWEET THINGS TO EASE MY MIND SAY YOU NEVER MEANT TO HURT ME GIRL, YOU NEVER WERE THAT KIND YOUR LOVE FOR ME WAS A HABIT AND I WAS NESTED IN YOUR HEART YOU KNOW I’VE NEVER BEEN A QUITTER BABE BUT I GUESS NOW’S THE TIME TO START I TRULY LOVED YOU WOMAN NOW I GOT SO MUCH TO FORGET CAUSE I KNOW YOU AIN’T COMIN HOME, BABY IF YOU AIN’T BEEN HOME YET I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU IT’S NOT A CHOICE I’D WANT TO MAKE THOUGHT HEAVEN SENT ME DOWN AN ANGEL BUT INSTEAD I GOT A SNAKE I THOUGHT WE HAD A LOT TO GIVE BUT WHAT WE GAVE WAS NOT ENOUGH COME BACK HOME TO ME BABY YOU LEFT BEHIND A LOT OF LOVE I TRULY LOVED YOU WOMAN NOW I HAVE SO MUCH TO FORGET CAUSE I KNOW YOU AIN’T COMIN HOME, BABY IF YOU AIN’T BEEN HOME YET
2.
Born Broken 05:26
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I WAS BORN BROKEN TATTERED AND TORN I'VE BEEN RIPPED OPEN DAMAGED AND WORN YOU WONT UNDERSTAND I CANNOT BE HEALED I'LL GIVE YOU MY HAND IT WILL NOT STAY SEALED YOU LOOK AT ME BUT ONLY SEE WHAT I SHOW TELL ME WHAT I AM YOU ACT LIKE YOU KNOW I HATE YOU FOR BEING ALL THAT I NEED I STILL FEEL ALONE AND CAUSE MYSELF TO BLEED I CAN'T CLOSE THE SEAMS THEY'RE ALREADY OPEN GOT NO ONE TO BLAME I WAS BORN BROKEN I WAS BORN BROKEN TATTERED AND TORN I’VE BEEN RIPPED OPEN DAMAGED AND WORN CAN I STAY AWAY FROM TROUBLE WITH THIS BRANDED ON MY HIDE SHED MY SKIN TO TURN A PAGE IT SEEPS THROUGH THE OTHER SIDE I HATE YOU FOR BEING ALL THAT I NEED I STILL FEEL ALONE AND CAUSE MYSELF TO BLEED I CAN'T CLOSE THE SEAMS THEY'RE ALREADY OPEN GOT NO ONE TO BLAME I WAS BORN BROKEN MAYBE I DESERVE TO BE ABUSED WHEN I LET THE BEST OF ME BE TAKEN AND USED THIS ISN'T THE PAST IT'S JUST WHAT I AM ITS PUT ME IN LAST I PRETEND THAT IT'S THEM I WAS BORN BROKEN TATTERED AND TORN I’VE BEEN RIPPED OPEN DAMAGED AND WORN I HATE YOU FOR BEING ALL THAT I NEED I STILL FEEL ALONE AND CAUSE MYSELF TO BLEED I CAN'T CLOSE THE SEAMS THEY'RE ALREADY OPEN GOT NO ONE TO BLAME I WAS BORN BROKEN I WAS BORN BROKEN
3.
Consolation Blues 05:36
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IN MY SOUL IN MY SOUL RUNS A DEEP AND ENDLESS HOLE NO CONTROL ALL THINGS I'VE KNOWN TAKE THEIR TOLL I'VE HIT MY LOWS HIT MY LOWS BEEN TOLD THE PAIN IT SHOWS TO FIND A WAY THAT'S LIFE I SUPPOSE COME TO ME DON'T REFUSE DONT GIVE ME CONSOLATION BLUES I GOT NOTHING MORE TO GIVE IF I GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE I'M SO BLIND I'M SO BLIND I CAN'T SEE AND I CAN'T FIND WHERE'D SHE GO NO ONE KNOWS LOVES UNKIND I CAN'T SEE I CAN'T SEE BEING BLIND IS ALL I'LL EVER BE GOING ON WITHOUT HER WONT BE EASY COME TO ME DON'T REFUSE DONT GIVE ME CONSOLATION BLUES I GOT NOTHING MORE TO GIVE IF I GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE PEACE OF MIND PEACE OF MIND WITHOUT HER IS HARD TO FIND I AM LOST DOWN THIS ROAD LEFT BEHIND COME TO ME DON'T REFUSE DONT GIVE ME CONSOLATION BLUES I GOT NOTHING MORE I CAN GIVE IF I GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LO
4.
Make It Easy 05:49
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YOU THINK THAT YOU’RE MOVING TOO FAST YOU'RE HOT BUT AIN'T THAT BOLD I GOT A RIGHT TO LOVE YOU A RIGHT TO HAVE AND A RIGHT TO HOLD THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE IT EASY THINK THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE WILL MAKE IT EASY I'M GONNA GO DOWNTOWN YOU DONT NEED ME AROUND ANYHOW WHY DONT I JUST GET OFF HERE YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD TO ME DEAR THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE IT EASY THINK THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE WILL MAKE IT EASY YOU DONT NEED NO SURGERY TO OPEN UP YOUR HEART FOR ME YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR POINT OF VIEW AND LET IT GET INSIDE OF YOU THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE IT EASY THINK THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE WILL MAKE IT EASY YOU LOOK SO UNTOUCHABLE LIKE YOU GOT SOMEWHERE TO GO ALL IT TOOK WAS A LOOK AND SHE TURNED ME TO STONE THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE IT EASY THINK THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE WILL MAKE IT EASY
5.
Swing Child 03:02
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SWING SWING CHILD THE TIME IS STILL THE DAYS GONE BY MIDNIGHT MOON IS HIGH AND STARS STILL LIGHT THE SKY SWING SWING CHILD WILL YOU EVER REALLY LEARN TO FLY THE LEAVES ARE GREEN WITH BROWN TREES BIRDS IN THE SKY WITH THE BUZZING BEES SWING SWING CHILD THIS LIFE IS GONNA PASS YOU BY WHEN HEAVENS CRY AND A STORM IS NEAR DONT SHUT YOUR EYES DONT SHED A TEAR SWING SWING CHILD THIS LIFE IS GONNA PASS YOU BY SWING SWING CHILD THE TIME IS STILL THE DAYS GONE BY MIDNIGHT MOON IS HIGH AND STARS STILL LIGHT THE SKY SWING SWING CHILD WILL YOU EVER REALLY LEARN TO FLY
6.
The Last Time 04:20
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I WAS COMING HOME TO YOU SINGING HAPPY NEVER EXPECTED TO BE SHEDDING A TEAR IF ID KNOWN IT’D BE THE LAST TIME YOU’D LOVE ME I WOULD HAVE MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR NEXT THING I KNOW SHE KNOCKS ME OUT SHE SAYS THERE’S NOTHING LEFT SHE MUST BE FREE SHE USED TO FEEL THAT IF IT’S GOOD THEN SHE WOULD ROLL WITH IT BUT SHE ROLLED RIGHT OVER ME IF YOU KISS ME I’M ONLY GONNA WANT IT MORE IF YOU LEAVE ME DON’T YOU DARE SAY GOODBYE COME OVER HERE AND LOVE ME, BUT YOU BETTER MAKE IT THE LAST TIME WE HAD BAD LUCK COMING FOR US WHEN I CAME HOME AND BROKE YOUR MIRROR PLEADING INNOCENT WON YOU FREEDOM BAD LUCK GAVE ME SEVEN YEARS LAYING IN BED WITH I ALWAYS KNEW THAT YOU HAD ONE FOOT ON THE FLOOR AND LOVING YOU BABY I ALWAYS KNEW YOUR HEAD WAS HALFWAY OUT THE DOOR IF YOU KISS ME I’M ONLY GONNA WANT YOU MORE LEAVE ME DON’T YOU DARE SAY GOODBYE COME OVER HERE AND LOVE ME, BUT YOU BETTER MAKE IT THE LAST TIME NOW I DON’T COME HOME IN THE EVENING IN FACT I DON’T LIKE TO COME HOME AT ALL I GOT NOTHING THERE WAITING FOR ME NO ONE COME RUNNING WHEN I CALL YOU PLAYED ME LIKE SOME MULE GOT THAT CARROT ON A STRING MAYBE YOU HAD ME RUNNING AROUND LIKE A FOOL BUT I’M TIRED OF FOLLOWING AROUND THAT THING IF YOU KISS ME I’M ONLY GONNA WANT IT MORE LEAVE ME DON’T YOU DARE SAY GOODBYE COME ON OVER BABE AND LOVE ME BUT YOU BETTER MAKE IT THE LAST TIME
7.
All I'll Ever Need 04:14
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IT'S HARD TO SEE AT THE TIME CAUSE I GET LOST IN YOUR EYES WHEN DAY COMES TO AN END AND I START TO REALIZE THAT MY NIGHTS WILL STAY LONG BUT I CANNOT BE WRONG I KNOW YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED DONT WANT NO OTHER BODY TO BE NEXT TO MINE SO SLIDE YOUR BODY CLOSER AND LET ME TAKE MY TIME I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SEE, WOMAN WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME I KNOW YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED JUST LET ME HEAR YOUR VOICE FEEL YOUR ARMS AROUND ME TIGHT AND WITH YOUR HAND IN MINE TO LEAD ME THROUGH THE NIGHT LONELINESS NEVER BOTHERED ME YOU LEFT ME ON MY KNEES I KNOW YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED I'VE DONE MY SHARE OF WAITING AND SLEEPING ON MY OWN I'M TIRED OF YOU LEAVING AND ENDING MY NIGHTS ALL ALONE GONNA LET YOU KNOW BEFORE YOU HAVE TO GO RECONSIDER NOW LET ME LOVE YOU SHOW ME HOW CAUSE AS THE NIGHT IS DARK AND THE DAY IS LIGHT NEED SOMEONE TO LIFT ME UP SOMEONE TO TREAT ME RIGHT WHEN I'M MISSING YOU ARE YOU MISSING ME? I’M NOT GONNA BEG AND PLEAD BUT HOW CAN'T YOU SEE THAT YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED WITH YOUR LIPS PRESSED TO MINE YOU HAVE ME WITHOUT A DOUBT YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU SWEET WOMAN I DONT NEED TO SPELL IT OUT NO MATTER HOW I'VE TRIED WITHOUT YOU I'M UNSATISFIED I KNOW YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED DONT SAY IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE JUST COME AND TAKE MY HAND YOU CAN WRITE IT DOWN AND READ IT TO ME BUT I AIN'T GONNA UNDERSTAND I'LL NEVER BELIEVE A CLAIM THAT YOU DONT FEEL THE SAME I KNOW YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED
8.
Some Things (Are Better Left Unsaid) 05:16
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IN A PAST LIFE I MUST HAVE BEEN ONE OF YOUR SHOES YOU TIED ME UP AND TOOK THE ROAD THAT WORE MY SOLE RIGHT THROUGH YOU WERE ALL I THOUGHT I WANTED BUT I HAD TO SEE YOU GO I LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING NEVER WANTED YOU TO KNOW I WISH THAT I HAD KNOWN YOU SO MANY YEARS AGO THEN WE COULD HAVE HAD MORE TIME BEFORE I HAD TO GO NOW SHE’S THE WOMAN ACROSS THE WATER AND I’M THE ROLLING STONE CAN’T BLAME HER FOR BELIEVING THAT I’M BETTER OFF ALONE I GUESS I SHOULD BE LONESOME NOW THAT I’M SLEEPING BY MYSELF BUT I’D RATHER SLEEP WITHOUT HER THAN BESIDE SOMEBODY ELSE SHE SPUN MY WHOLE WORLD AROUND HAD LOVE RUSHING TO MY HEAD BUT SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID I NEED A HEALER TO CLEANSE MY BODY AND MY SOUL TO LAY THEIR HANDS ON ME AND LET THAT RHYTHM FLOW WITH ENERGIES DIVINE TO SEE FROM THE INSIDE RELEASE ME OF MY EVIL AND TO GET HER OFF MY MIND I COULD SIT HERE AND CRY ALL THE RAIN THAT’S POURED SINCE WE PARTED MY HEART CAN ONLY STRIKE A LONELY CHORD I’VE CRIED SO MANY TEARS NOW I’M SO FAR FROM SHORE I GUESS I FINALLY FOUND WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR I GUESS I SHOULD BE LONESOME NOW THAT I’M SLEEPING BY MYSELF BUT I’D RATHER SLEEP WITHOUT HER THAN BESIDE SOMEBODY ELSE SHE SPUN MY WHOLE WORLD AROUND HAD LOVE RUSHING TO MY HEAD BUT SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID
9.
Cold Blood 03:28
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WE DANCED ALL NIGHT WHEN WE WERE FIFTEEN NEVER SAID TWO WORDS I ONLY KNEW YOU FROM WHAT I'D SEEN NOTHING ELSE MATTERED IT DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING TO ME NOW NO MATTER WHERE I GO I ONLY SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS NO ONE CAME RUNNING CAUSE NOBODY CARES NO ONE CAN HEAR ME WHEN NOBODY'S THERE WHEN YOU'RE ALONE THE SUN SETS SO FAST I WAS KILLED BY THE GHOSTS OF MY PAST IN COLD BLOOD I WENT FROM EAST TO WEST 1000 MILES ON A TRAIN I COULDN'T FORGET I THOUGHT ABOUT IT ALL THE WAY CAME TO MIND A MILLION TIMES NOTHING’S EVER AS IT SEEMS NOW NO MATTER WHERE I GO I ONLY SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS NO ONE CAME RUNNING CAUSE NOBODY CARES NO ONE CAN HEAR ME WHEN NOBODY'S THERE WHEN YOU'RE ALONE THE SUN SETS SO FAST I WAS KILLED BY THE GHOSTS OF MY PAST IN COLD BLOOD THE MOST THAT I EVER SEE OF YOU IS IN A PICTURE I KEEP ON MY WALL AND IT’S BEEN THAT WAY FOR SO LONG NOW I GUESS THAT SAYS IT ALL YOU KNOW HOW TO SAY MORE IN SILENCE NO WORDS COULD EVER BE AS BAD NOW I KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS TO LOSE THE LAST OF THE BEST THING THAT YOU EVER HAD NO ONE CAME RUNNING CAUSE NOBODY CARES NO ONE CAN HEAR ME WHEN NOBODY'S THERE WHEN YOU'RE ALONE THE SUN SETS SO FAST I WAS KILLED BY THE GHOSTS OF MY PAST IN COLD BLOOD THE SCARS YOU SEE ARE JUST NUMB AND OLD BADGES THAT I HAVE THERE FOR SHOW THE SCARS YOU GAVE ME DIG DEEPER INSIDE CAUSE THE WAY YOU CUT ME AIN’T SO EASY TO HIDE NO ONE CAME RUNNING CAUSE NOBODY CARES NO ONE CAN HEAR ME WHEN NOBODY'S THERE WHEN YOU'RE ALONE THE SUN SETS SO FAST I WAS KILLED BY THE GHOSTS OF MY PAST IN COLD BLOOD
10.
Saying Goodbye 05:44
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I KNOW WE’RE TOO DIFFERENT YOU AND I IT’S DIFFERENCES WE CAN`T GET BY NOW WE’RE JUST TWO SOULS IN THE WORLD ANOTHER LOST BOY AND LOST GIRL BUT IF I FIND YOUR HEAD RESTED OVER ME YOUR BODY CLOSER THAN IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE WHEN I HEAR YOUR HEARTBEAT IN MY EAR IT TAKES ME BACK TO HOW WE USED TO FEEL EVERY TIME I LOOK YOU IN THE EYE I’LL BE HOLDING YOU CLOSE IN MY MIND CAUSE WHAT WE LEFT WE NEVER LEFT BEHIND HONEY, WE`RE STILL SAYING GOODBYE I MIGHT LOVE A HUNDRED AND I COULD LOVE MORE BUT I’LL NEVER LOVE ANOTHER THE WAY I LOVED HER WHAT WE HAD WAS BETTER THAN THE BEST NOW WE HAVE TO LET THOSE FEELINGS REST BUT, IF I FIND YOUR HEAD RESTED OVER ME YOUR BODY CLOSER THAN IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE WHEN I HEAR YOUR HEARTBEAT IN MY EAR IT TAKES ME BACK TO HOW WE USED TO FEEL EVERY TIME I LOOK YOU IN THE EYE I’LL BE HOLDING YOU CLOSE IN MY MIND CAUSE WHAT WE LEFT WE NEVER LEFT BEHIND HONEY, WE`RE STILL SAYING GOODBYE AS MUCH AS I KNEW IT WOULDN’T LAST I NEVER THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD END WATCHING THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS TO SEE A LOVER TURN INTO A FRIEND OUR FATE WAS DECIDED THE CARDS WERE CAST BUT WE DIDN`T UNDERSTAND THAT OUR TIME WAS CLOSING IN FAST TURNING OVER THE SAME CARDS AGAIN AND AGAIN WE ALMOST PLANNED OUR LIVES BY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN I COULD ALMOST SEE THE LAWN AND WHITE PICKET FENCE NOW I’M LIVING NOT LOOKING DOWN THAT ROAD NO SENSE THINKING ABOUT GROWING OLD BUT, IF I FIND YOUR HEAD RESTED OVER ME YOUR BODY CLOSER THAN IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE WHEN I HEAR YOUR HEARTBEAT IN MY EAR IT TAKES ME BACK TO HOW WE USED TO FEEL EVERY TIME I LOOK YOU IN THE EYE I’LL BE HOLDING YOU CLOSE IN MY MIND CAUSE WHAT WE LEFT WE NEVER LEFT BEHIND HONEY, WE`RE STILL SAYING GOODBYE THERE’S NO ONE TO BLAME AND NO LINES WERE CROSSED WE JUST WALKED A WAY AND NO LOVE WAS LOST BUT I KNOW I NEVER SLEPT TOO LONG AFRAID WHEN I WOKE UP THAT YOU’D BE GONE SO, IF I FIND YOUR HEAD RESTED OVER ME YOUR BODY CLOSER THAN IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE WHEN I HEAR YOUR HEARTBEAT IN MY EAR IT TAKES ME BACK TO HOW WE USED TO FEEL EVERY TIME I LOOK YOU IN THE EYE I’LL BE HOLDING YOU CLOSE IN MY MIND CAUSE WHAT WE LEFT WE NEVER LEFT BEHIND HONEY, WE`RE STILL SAYING GOODBYE

credits

released June 4, 2015

Ben Raftus - Lyrics, Arrangements, Vocals, Electric Guitars, 6 and 12 string Acoustic Guitars, Bass, Harmonica, Percussion

Vlad Romanov - Producer, Mastering

Zarnoosh Bilimoria - Drums

Brianna Knocton - Album Artwork

Bill MacDonald - Ghost Artwork

Kate Mitchell - Designer

Recorded and Mastered at 20 Meadowbrook, Toronto, ON.
(C) 2013 Ben Raftus

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Ben Raftus Halifax, Nova Scotia

Guitarist, Singer/Songwriter from Halifax, NS. Canada

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