Ghosts of My Past

by Ben Raftus

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credits

released June 4, 2015

Ben Raftus - Lyrics, Arrangements, Vocals, Electric Guitars, 6 and 12 string Acoustic Guitars, Bass, Harmonica, Percussion

Vlad Romanov - Producer, Mastering

Zarnoosh Bilimoria - Drums

Brianna Knocton - Album Artwork

Bill MacDonald - Ghost Artwork

Kate Mitchell - Designer

Recorded and Mastered at 20 Meadowbrook, Toronto, ON.
(C) 2013 Ben Raftus

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all rights reserved

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Ben Raftus Halifax, Nova Scotia

Guitarist, Singer/Songwriter from Halifax, NS. Canada

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Track Name: Comin Home
MY WHOLE WORLD’S BEEN SO BLUE
SINCE YOU LEFT SO LONG AGO
THE WAY THAT I WILL MISS YOU
IT’S ALL MY FAULT YOU’LL NEVER KNOW

I CAN STILL SMELL YOU ON MY PILLOW
YOUR HEAD HASN’T RESTED THERE FOR SO LONG
RATHER BE BLIND THAN SEE YOU GO
AND DUMB SO I CAN’T SAY THAT YOU’RE GONE

I TRULY LOVED YOU WOMAN
NOW I GOT SO MUCH TO FORGET
CAUSE I KNOW YOU AIN’T COMIN HOME BABY
IF YOU AIN’T BEEN HOME YET

THINK ABOUT MY HANDS ON YOUR BODY
YOUR SKIN SOFT AND WHITE AS MILK
HAIR FLOWING DOWN TO YOUR SHOULDERS
SOFTER THAN SATIN OR SILK

YOU HAD A LOT TO OFFER
IT WAS SO MUCH FOR ME TO WASTE
YOU LAID IT ALL ACROSS THE TABLE
AND I GAVE EVERYTHING A TASTE

I TRULY LOVED YOU WOMAN
NOW I GOT SO MUCH TO FORGET
CAUSE I KNOW YOU AIN’T COMIN HOME, BABY
IF YOU AIN’T BEEN HOME YET

YOU WRAPPED ME IN YOUR LIES
TOLD ME SWEET THINGS TO EASE MY MIND
SAY YOU NEVER MEANT TO HURT ME
GIRL, YOU NEVER WERE THAT KIND

YOUR LOVE FOR ME WAS A HABIT
AND I WAS NESTED IN YOUR HEART
YOU KNOW I’VE NEVER BEEN A QUITTER BABE
BUT I GUESS NOW’S THE TIME TO START

I TRULY LOVED YOU WOMAN
NOW I GOT SO MUCH TO FORGET
CAUSE I KNOW YOU AIN’T COMIN HOME, BABY
IF YOU AIN’T BEEN HOME YET

I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU
IT’S NOT A CHOICE I’D WANT TO MAKE
THOUGHT HEAVEN SENT ME DOWN AN ANGEL
BUT INSTEAD I GOT A SNAKE

I THOUGHT WE HAD A LOT TO GIVE
BUT WHAT WE GAVE WAS NOT ENOUGH
COME BACK HOME TO ME BABY
YOU LEFT BEHIND A LOT OF LOVE

I TRULY LOVED YOU WOMAN
NOW I HAVE SO MUCH TO FORGET
CAUSE I KNOW YOU AIN’T COMIN HOME, BABY
IF YOU AIN’T BEEN HOME YET
Track Name: Born Broken
I WAS BORN BROKEN
TATTERED AND TORN
I'VE BEEN RIPPED OPEN
DAMAGED AND WORN

YOU WONT UNDERSTAND
I CANNOT BE HEALED
I'LL GIVE YOU MY HAND
IT WILL NOT STAY SEALED

YOU LOOK AT ME
BUT ONLY SEE WHAT I SHOW
TELL ME WHAT I AM
YOU ACT LIKE YOU KNOW

I HATE YOU FOR BEING
ALL THAT I NEED
I STILL FEEL ALONE
AND CAUSE MYSELF TO BLEED

I CAN'T CLOSE THE SEAMS
THEY'RE ALREADY OPEN
GOT NO ONE TO BLAME
I WAS BORN BROKEN

I WAS BORN BROKEN
TATTERED AND TORN
I’VE BEEN RIPPED OPEN
DAMAGED AND WORN

CAN I STAY AWAY FROM TROUBLE
WITH THIS BRANDED ON MY HIDE
SHED MY SKIN TO TURN A PAGE
IT SEEPS THROUGH THE OTHER SIDE

I HATE YOU FOR BEING
ALL THAT I NEED
I STILL FEEL ALONE
AND CAUSE MYSELF TO BLEED

I CAN'T CLOSE THE SEAMS
THEY'RE ALREADY OPEN
GOT NO ONE TO BLAME
I WAS BORN BROKEN

MAYBE I DESERVE
TO BE ABUSED
WHEN I LET THE BEST OF ME
BE TAKEN AND USED

THIS ISN'T THE PAST
IT'S JUST WHAT I AM
ITS PUT ME IN LAST
I PRETEND THAT IT'S THEM

I WAS BORN BROKEN
TATTERED AND TORN
I’VE BEEN RIPPED OPEN
DAMAGED AND WORN

I HATE YOU FOR BEING
ALL THAT I NEED
I STILL FEEL ALONE
AND CAUSE MYSELF TO BLEED

I CAN'T CLOSE THE SEAMS
THEY'RE ALREADY OPEN
GOT NO ONE TO BLAME
I WAS BORN BROKEN

I WAS BORN BROKEN
Track Name: Consolation Blues
IN MY SOUL
IN MY SOUL
RUNS A DEEP
AND ENDLESS HOLE
NO CONTROL
ALL THINGS I'VE KNOWN
TAKE THEIR TOLL

I'VE HIT MY LOWS
HIT MY LOWS
BEEN TOLD
THE PAIN IT SHOWS
TO FIND A WAY
THAT'S LIFE
I SUPPOSE

COME TO ME
DON'T REFUSE
DONT GIVE ME CONSOLATION BLUES
I GOT NOTHING MORE TO GIVE
IF I GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE

I'M SO BLIND
I'M SO BLIND
I CAN'T SEE
AND I CAN'T FIND
WHERE'D SHE GO
NO ONE KNOWS
LOVES UNKIND

I CAN'T SEE
I CAN'T SEE
BEING BLIND
IS ALL I'LL EVER BE
GOING ON
WITHOUT HER
WONT BE EASY

COME TO ME
DON'T REFUSE
DONT GIVE ME
CONSOLATION BLUES
I GOT NOTHING MORE TO GIVE
IF I GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE

PEACE OF MIND
PEACE OF MIND
WITHOUT HER
IS HARD TO FIND
I AM LOST
DOWN THIS ROAD
LEFT BEHIND

COME TO ME
DON'T REFUSE
DONT GIVE ME
CONSOLATION BLUES
I GOT NOTHING MORE I CAN GIVE
IF I GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LO
Track Name: Make It Easy
YOU THINK THAT YOU’RE MOVING TOO FAST YOU'RE HOT BUT AIN'T THAT BOLD
I GOT A RIGHT TO LOVE YOU A RIGHT TO HAVE AND A RIGHT TO HOLD
THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE IT EASY
THINK THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE WILL MAKE IT EASY

I'M GONNA GO DOWNTOWN YOU DONT NEED ME AROUND ANYHOW
WHY DONT I JUST GET OFF HERE YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD TO ME DEAR
THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE IT EASY
THINK THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE WILL MAKE IT EASY

YOU DONT NEED NO SURGERY
TO OPEN UP YOUR HEART FOR ME
YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR POINT OF VIEW
AND LET IT GET INSIDE OF YOU
THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE IT EASY
THINK THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE WILL MAKE IT EASY

YOU LOOK SO UNTOUCHABLE LIKE YOU GOT SOMEWHERE TO GO
ALL IT TOOK WAS A LOOK AND SHE TURNED ME TO STONE
THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE IT EASY
THINK THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE WILL MAKE IT EASY
Track Name: Swing Child
SWING SWING CHILD
THE TIME IS STILL
THE DAYS GONE BY
MIDNIGHT MOON IS HIGH
AND STARS STILL LIGHT THE SKY
SWING SWING CHILD
WILL YOU EVER REALLY LEARN TO FLY

THE LEAVES ARE GREEN
WITH BROWN TREES
BIRDS IN THE SKY
WITH THE BUZZING BEES
SWING SWING CHILD
THIS LIFE IS GONNA PASS YOU BY

WHEN HEAVENS CRY
AND A STORM IS NEAR
DONT SHUT YOUR EYES
DONT SHED A TEAR
SWING SWING CHILD
THIS LIFE IS GONNA PASS YOU BY

SWING SWING CHILD
THE TIME IS STILL
THE DAYS GONE BY
MIDNIGHT MOON IS HIGH
AND STARS STILL LIGHT THE SKY
SWING SWING CHILD
WILL YOU EVER REALLY LEARN TO FLY
Track Name: The Last Time
I WAS COMING HOME TO YOU SINGING HAPPY
NEVER EXPECTED TO BE SHEDDING A TEAR
IF ID KNOWN IT’D BE THE LAST TIME YOU’D LOVE ME
I WOULD HAVE MADE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR
NEXT THING I KNOW SHE KNOCKS ME OUT
SHE SAYS THERE’S NOTHING LEFT SHE MUST BE FREE
SHE USED TO FEEL THAT IF IT’S GOOD THEN SHE WOULD ROLL WITH IT
BUT SHE ROLLED RIGHT OVER ME
IF YOU KISS ME I’M ONLY GONNA WANT IT MORE
IF YOU LEAVE ME DON’T YOU DARE SAY GOODBYE
COME OVER HERE AND LOVE ME, BUT YOU BETTER MAKE IT THE LAST TIME

WE HAD BAD LUCK COMING FOR US
WHEN I CAME HOME AND BROKE YOUR MIRROR
PLEADING INNOCENT WON YOU FREEDOM
BAD LUCK GAVE ME SEVEN YEARS
LAYING IN BED WITH I ALWAYS KNEW
THAT YOU HAD ONE FOOT ON THE FLOOR
AND LOVING YOU BABY I ALWAYS KNEW
YOUR HEAD WAS HALFWAY OUT THE DOOR
IF YOU KISS ME I’M ONLY GONNA WANT YOU MORE
LEAVE ME DON’T YOU DARE SAY GOODBYE
COME OVER HERE AND LOVE ME, BUT YOU BETTER MAKE IT THE LAST TIME

NOW I DON’T COME HOME IN THE EVENING
IN FACT I DON’T LIKE TO COME HOME AT ALL
I GOT NOTHING THERE WAITING FOR ME
NO ONE COME RUNNING WHEN I CALL
YOU PLAYED ME LIKE SOME MULE
GOT THAT CARROT ON A STRING
MAYBE YOU HAD ME RUNNING AROUND LIKE A FOOL
BUT I’M TIRED OF FOLLOWING AROUND THAT THING
IF YOU KISS ME I’M ONLY GONNA WANT IT MORE
LEAVE ME DON’T YOU DARE SAY GOODBYE
COME ON OVER BABE AND LOVE ME BUT YOU BETTER MAKE IT THE LAST TIME
Track Name: All I'll Ever Need
IT'S HARD TO SEE AT THE TIME
CAUSE I GET LOST IN YOUR EYES
WHEN DAY COMES TO AN END
AND I START TO REALIZE
THAT MY NIGHTS WILL STAY LONG
BUT I CANNOT BE WRONG
I KNOW YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED

DONT WANT NO OTHER BODY
TO BE NEXT TO MINE
SO SLIDE YOUR BODY CLOSER
AND LET ME TAKE MY TIME
I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SEE, WOMAN
WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME
I KNOW YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED

JUST LET ME HEAR YOUR VOICE
FEEL YOUR ARMS AROUND ME TIGHT
AND WITH YOUR HAND IN MINE
TO LEAD ME THROUGH THE NIGHT
LONELINESS NEVER BOTHERED ME
YOU LEFT ME ON MY KNEES
I KNOW YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED

I'VE DONE MY SHARE OF WAITING
AND SLEEPING ON MY OWN
I'M TIRED OF YOU LEAVING
AND ENDING MY NIGHTS ALL ALONE

GONNA LET YOU KNOW
BEFORE YOU HAVE TO GO
RECONSIDER NOW
LET ME LOVE YOU
SHOW ME HOW

CAUSE AS THE NIGHT IS DARK
AND THE DAY IS LIGHT
NEED SOMEONE TO LIFT ME UP
SOMEONE TO TREAT ME RIGHT

WHEN I'M MISSING YOU
ARE YOU MISSING ME?
I’M NOT GONNA BEG AND PLEAD
BUT HOW CAN'T YOU SEE
THAT YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED

WITH YOUR LIPS PRESSED TO MINE
YOU HAVE ME WITHOUT A DOUBT
YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU SWEET WOMAN
I DONT NEED TO SPELL IT OUT
NO MATTER HOW I'VE TRIED
WITHOUT YOU I'M UNSATISFIED
I KNOW YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED

DONT SAY IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE
JUST COME AND TAKE MY HAND
YOU CAN WRITE IT DOWN AND READ IT TO ME
BUT I AIN'T GONNA UNDERSTAND
I'LL NEVER BELIEVE A CLAIM
THAT YOU DONT FEEL THE SAME
I KNOW YOUR LOVE IS ALL I'LL EVER NEED
Track Name: Some Things (Are Better Left Unsaid)
IN A PAST LIFE
I MUST HAVE BEEN ONE OF YOUR SHOES
YOU TIED ME UP AND TOOK THE ROAD
THAT WORE MY SOLE RIGHT THROUGH

YOU WERE ALL I THOUGHT I WANTED
BUT I HAD TO SEE YOU GO
I LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING
NEVER WANTED YOU TO KNOW

I WISH THAT I HAD KNOWN YOU
SO MANY YEARS AGO
THEN WE COULD HAVE HAD MORE TIME
BEFORE I HAD TO GO

NOW SHE’S THE WOMAN ACROSS THE WATER
AND I’M THE ROLLING STONE
CAN’T BLAME HER FOR BELIEVING
THAT I’M BETTER OFF ALONE

I GUESS I SHOULD BE LONESOME
NOW THAT I’M SLEEPING BY MYSELF
BUT I’D RATHER SLEEP WITHOUT HER
THAN BESIDE SOMEBODY ELSE
SHE SPUN MY WHOLE WORLD AROUND
HAD LOVE RUSHING TO MY HEAD
BUT SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID

I NEED A HEALER
TO CLEANSE MY BODY AND MY SOUL
TO LAY THEIR HANDS ON ME
AND LET THAT RHYTHM FLOW

WITH ENERGIES DIVINE
TO SEE FROM THE INSIDE
RELEASE ME OF MY EVIL
AND TO GET HER OFF MY MIND

I COULD SIT HERE AND CRY
ALL THE RAIN THAT’S POURED
SINCE WE PARTED
MY HEART CAN ONLY STRIKE A LONELY CHORD

I’VE CRIED SO MANY TEARS
NOW I’M SO FAR FROM SHORE
I GUESS I FINALLY FOUND
WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR

I GUESS I SHOULD BE LONESOME
NOW THAT I’M SLEEPING BY MYSELF
BUT I’D RATHER SLEEP WITHOUT HER
THAN BESIDE SOMEBODY ELSE
SHE SPUN MY WHOLE WORLD AROUND
HAD LOVE RUSHING TO MY HEAD
BUT SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID
Track Name: Cold Blood
WE DANCED ALL NIGHT
WHEN WE WERE FIFTEEN
NEVER SAID TWO WORDS
I ONLY KNEW YOU FROM WHAT I'D SEEN

NOTHING ELSE MATTERED
IT DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING TO ME
NOW NO MATTER WHERE I GO
I ONLY SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS

NO ONE CAME RUNNING
CAUSE NOBODY CARES
NO ONE CAN HEAR ME
WHEN NOBODY'S THERE
WHEN YOU'RE ALONE
THE SUN SETS SO FAST
I WAS KILLED BY THE GHOSTS OF MY PAST
IN COLD BLOOD

I WENT FROM EAST TO WEST
1000 MILES ON A TRAIN
I COULDN'T FORGET
I THOUGHT ABOUT IT ALL THE WAY

CAME TO MIND A MILLION TIMES
NOTHING’S EVER AS IT SEEMS
NOW NO MATTER WHERE I GO
I ONLY SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS

NO ONE CAME RUNNING
CAUSE NOBODY CARES
NO ONE CAN HEAR ME
WHEN NOBODY'S THERE
WHEN YOU'RE ALONE
THE SUN SETS SO FAST
I WAS KILLED BY THE GHOSTS OF MY PAST
IN COLD BLOOD

THE MOST THAT I EVER SEE OF YOU
IS IN A PICTURE I KEEP ON MY WALL
AND IT’S BEEN THAT WAY FOR SO LONG NOW
I GUESS THAT SAYS IT ALL

YOU KNOW HOW TO SAY MORE IN SILENCE
NO WORDS COULD EVER BE AS BAD
NOW I KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS TO LOSE
THE LAST OF THE BEST THING THAT YOU EVER HAD

NO ONE CAME RUNNING
CAUSE NOBODY CARES
NO ONE CAN HEAR ME
WHEN NOBODY'S THERE
WHEN YOU'RE ALONE
THE SUN SETS SO FAST
I WAS KILLED BY THE GHOSTS OF MY PAST
IN COLD BLOOD

THE SCARS YOU SEE ARE JUST NUMB AND OLD
BADGES THAT I HAVE THERE FOR SHOW
THE SCARS YOU GAVE ME DIG DEEPER INSIDE
CAUSE THE WAY YOU CUT ME AIN’T SO EASY TO HIDE

NO ONE CAME RUNNING
CAUSE NOBODY CARES
NO ONE CAN HEAR ME
WHEN NOBODY'S THERE
WHEN YOU'RE ALONE
THE SUN SETS SO FAST
I WAS KILLED BY THE GHOSTS OF MY PAST
IN COLD BLOOD
Track Name: Saying Goodbye
I KNOW WE’RE TOO DIFFERENT YOU AND I
IT’S DIFFERENCES WE CAN`T GET BY
NOW WE’RE JUST TWO SOULS IN THE WORLD
ANOTHER LOST BOY AND LOST GIRL BUT

IF I FIND YOUR HEAD RESTED OVER ME
YOUR BODY CLOSER THAN IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE
WHEN I HEAR YOUR HEARTBEAT IN MY EAR
IT TAKES ME BACK TO HOW WE USED TO FEEL
EVERY TIME I LOOK YOU IN THE EYE
I’LL BE HOLDING YOU CLOSE IN MY MIND
CAUSE WHAT WE LEFT WE NEVER LEFT BEHIND
HONEY, WE`RE STILL SAYING GOODBYE

I MIGHT LOVE A HUNDRED AND I COULD LOVE MORE
BUT I’LL NEVER LOVE ANOTHER THE WAY I LOVED HER
WHAT WE HAD WAS BETTER THAN THE BEST
NOW WE HAVE TO LET THOSE FEELINGS REST

BUT, IF I FIND YOUR HEAD RESTED OVER ME
YOUR BODY CLOSER THAN IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE
WHEN I HEAR YOUR HEARTBEAT IN MY EAR
IT TAKES ME BACK TO HOW WE USED TO FEEL
EVERY TIME I LOOK YOU IN THE EYE
I’LL BE HOLDING YOU CLOSE IN MY MIND
CAUSE WHAT WE LEFT WE NEVER LEFT BEHIND
HONEY, WE`RE STILL SAYING GOODBYE

AS MUCH AS I KNEW IT WOULDN’T LAST
I NEVER THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD END
WATCHING THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
TO SEE A LOVER TURN INTO A FRIEND

OUR FATE WAS DECIDED
THE CARDS WERE CAST
BUT WE DIDN`T UNDERSTAND
THAT OUR TIME WAS CLOSING IN FAST
TURNING OVER THE SAME CARDS AGAIN AND AGAIN

WE ALMOST PLANNED OUR LIVES BY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
I COULD ALMOST SEE THE LAWN AND WHITE PICKET FENCE
NOW I’M LIVING NOT LOOKING DOWN THAT ROAD
NO SENSE THINKING ABOUT GROWING OLD

BUT, IF I FIND YOUR HEAD RESTED OVER ME
YOUR BODY CLOSER THAN IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE
WHEN I HEAR YOUR HEARTBEAT IN MY EAR
IT TAKES ME BACK TO HOW WE USED TO FEEL
EVERY TIME I LOOK YOU IN THE EYE
I’LL BE HOLDING YOU CLOSE IN MY MIND
CAUSE WHAT WE LEFT WE NEVER LEFT BEHIND
HONEY, WE`RE STILL SAYING GOODBYE

THERE’S NO ONE TO BLAME AND NO LINES WERE CROSSED
WE JUST WALKED A WAY AND NO LOVE WAS LOST
BUT I KNOW I NEVER SLEPT TOO LONG
AFRAID WHEN I WOKE UP THAT YOU’D BE GONE

SO, IF I FIND YOUR HEAD RESTED OVER ME
YOUR BODY CLOSER THAN IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE
WHEN I HEAR YOUR HEARTBEAT IN MY EAR
IT TAKES ME BACK TO HOW WE USED TO FEEL
EVERY TIME I LOOK YOU IN THE EYE
I’LL BE HOLDING YOU CLOSE IN MY MIND
CAUSE WHAT WE LEFT WE NEVER LEFT BEHIND
HONEY, WE`RE STILL SAYING GOODBYE